


Feels like lightning running through my veins

by thelastofthecrazypeople



Category: Mass Effect Trilogy
Genre: Anxiety, Drabble, M/M, Panic Attacks, Post War
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-04
Updated: 2020-01-04
Packaged: 2021-02-24 16:20:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 391
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22120834
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thelastofthecrazypeople/pseuds/thelastofthecrazypeople
Summary: It’s the smallest thing that sets him off sometimes and this time he can’t even tell what exactly it was, not even much later when he’s calmed down again and has time to examine the situation from all angles.
Relationships: Kaidan Alenko/Male Shepard
Kudos: 16





	Feels like lightning running through my veins

It’s the smallest thing that sets him off sometimes and this time he can’t even tell what exactly it was, not even much later when he’s calmed down again and has time to examine the situation from all angles.  
Right now, though he feels his blood pumping in his ears, drowning out the noise of the city around him. He feels his throat go dry in an instant and his eyes stop focusing properly so that he has to grab onto the nearest wall and feel his way into the next alley.  
He feels like running and hiding at the same time, half of his instincts wanting to fight, to stand up to whatever brought on the panic this time. The other half is small and shivering and begging him to just hide away until it passes. A very, very tiny part of him tries to reason, to tell him that both parts are wrong, that he just needs to calm down for fuck’s sake. That there is actually nothing wrong.  
In the end the part that wants to hide wins out, since there is actually nothing there to fight – just old instincts going haywire, adrenaline shooting through his body because of something he doesn’t even remember.  
But the darkness in the alley helps – the slowly waning sunlight already mostly gone, shadows drooping down from tall buildings.  
Still his heart feels like it’s trying to beat its way out of his chest, blood rushing through his ears and breath coming fast as if he’d been running a marathon instead of taking a leisurely stroll in the sun.  
Very slowly he starts to regain some semblance of control over himself, the initial spike of panic dropping enough for his more rational part to take over, to try to remember the words of his therapist. To force himself to take deep breaths in and out. To send the message preprogramed into his omnitool for just this occasion.  
It’s only once he hears Kaidan’s familiar voice – worried but calming, welcoming like a light house in the dark – that he can actually calm down enough to take in his surroundings.  
It’s only talking to him that lets Damien get back home and into the safety of his arms, still jittery and insecure and frustrated to all hell but at the same time also immensely thankful.


End file.
